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Dear Dr. Beast,
Back to adhesive matters. We're working on building a structure out of pasta and we need a good adhesive for the project. Thus far trial and error have us checking out liquid nails again. Any other suggestions
Respectfully
OV

Dear OV,
I think I need a little more information on this one. Is the pasta the only material being used, or is the pasta being affixed to something else? The type of pasta(s) matters, as does the general nature of the structure. I would use different things for a angel hair Eiffel Tower than I would for a ziti and lasagna log home in honor of Lincoln for President's Day. As a general rule, if the stress points are not too stressed, you can use something like Weldbond wood glue. There is another substance called gorilla glue, which is a very strong all purpose glue, but expensive and difficult to clean up. So, the answer depends on who is using the glue and what they are making. I am not sure if there is a liquid nails appropriate for the application you are talking about. Weldbond is pretty strong, and cleans up well. Liquid nails tends to be harder to clean up. Since the glue joints will be exposed, (unlike the previous case) the tidiness is important.


Dear Dr. Beast,
There are large black bugs crawling out of the urinals at work. While this was sort of amusing in the beginning, it's become a nuisance of late. What can we do? (Do to the extraodinary lack of water pressure, flushing them does not work.)
Respectfully
OV

Dear OV,
I am not sure what kind of bugs they are, so I'll give you some general advice. Soap poured down the drain does wonders if they're roaches. The important thing is not to throw in matchsticks or cigarette buts; they could learn to polevault. Ice is also commonly thrown in urinals (supposedly it keeps the smell down due to lower temperatures; it would also provide a constant flow and colder air might discourage the bugs. If nothing else, it's fun and challenging to see how much ice you can melt with a single visit). Beyond that, you could contact Tom Ray, who used to be big in bathrooms.


Dear Dr. Beast,
Did the Wicked Witch of the West melt, or dissolve?
Respectfully
OV

Dear OV,
As I recall, she says "I'm Mellllllting". I guess that is your answer. She would have dissolved if she was made of "sugar and spice and everything nice,", but she's a lot closer to snkaes and snails and puppy dog tails. Oops, sorry Toto.


Dear Dr. Beast,
Given the different time zones, and modern transportation, how many times could one person possibly celebrate New Year's 99/00?
Respectfully
OV

Dear OV:,
Given modern transportation, you can celebrate it 24 times. Imagine getting on the Concorde and flying around the world. You don't have to be on the ground to celebrate. Given the widespread concern about Y2K bugs in the air traffic control system, once might be safer. You can also celebrate 24 times without leaving your home, simply celebrate on behalf of your fellows in other time zones. In thelectronic world, why be constrained by place.


Dear Dr. Beast,
I need some advice on adhesive. I am involved in a battle with my barber. We take turns super gluing things (mostly change) to the sidewalk, to see who will try and pick it up first. I have noticed that it only takes a few days before the coins can be kicked loose. Could you recommend an adhesive that will bond to cement and metal, that will retain its hold even in rather cold temperatures, and that lasts longer than a couple of days? >
Respectfully
OV

Dear OV:,
Sorry about the delay. I was waiting to speak with "Ask Dr. Beast" consulting engineer Douglas "That man there" Wilson. He suggested that you try the solvent style of liquid nails. Good luck, and I hope the advice isn't too late.


Dear Dr. Beast,
Hey, you called me a mendicant. What does that mean? And what is this mulch thing I hear so much about?
Respectfully
Groo the Wanderer

Dear Dense One:,
If you could read, you would know that mendicant is term used to describe either a beggar, or a member of a monastic order (as the Fransiscans) combining monastic life and outside religious activity and originally owning neither personal nor community property. You belong to the brotherhood of war and, outside of the blue thing around your neck, own nothing but the tools or your trade. Of course, bieng literate would also be useful to learn that mulch is a dog or a protective covering spread on the ground especially to reduce evaporation, maintain even soil temperatures, prevent erosion, control temperatures or enrich the soil. Using both in a sentence in the Winter Camp context: At the Beggar's Banquet, the heartless Wilson left the starving mendicants on the cabin floor like so much mulch. Any other questions, ask the Sage or Rufferto.


Dear Dr. Beast,
Hey, your answer about the sky is all wet. Sure, light there is refracted and the color is filtered and combined, but computers work in a different way. While regular colors are additive, so that blue, yellow and red can be combined to make any color you want, computer colors are negative; that's why they use RGB -- red, green and blue. In the real world, we start with white and add colors. In the computer world, we start with black and subtract. What have you got to say for yourself?
Respectfully
Budding Computer Genius

Dear Know It All:,
You have made a valid point. It makes perfect sense if you are talking about the way the the colors are created. If however, the question is about human perception (which the original question was) of the colors created, then I assure you that light refraction in the atmosphere has a great deal to do with colors. It is all in the way you look atthe question.


Dear Dr. Beast,
Why are Suporvisors so stupid?
Respectfully
Enraged Worker

Dear Postal Employee:,
One guess is that they are not stupid, just confused because some people do not know how to spell their title. More realistically, all supervisors are stupid, until you become a supervisor. then supervisors are intellignet individuals stifled by the minute intellect of their peon employees. Some people also talk about the Peter Principle, which states that dickheads usually get promoted over people with a clue.


Dear Dr. Beast,
Why is the sky green?
Respectfully
Color blinded

Dear John:,
It is green for the same reason that the Wintercamp homepage background is green. It has to do with the refraction of various light particles in the visible spectrum when viewed through the atmosphere. For more details, see Bill Nye, Science Guy.


Dear Dr. Beast,
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a TOOTSIE POP?
Respectfully
Just A Guy

Dear Monsieur LaFleur (just a Guy):,
Well, if you had paid attention earlier, you would have known that the answer is the same as for how many stupid questions in a row one can ask ... According to the owl of cartoon advertising fame, the answer is three. However, the owl always cheated and crunched the Tootsie Pop, so I think that he was inferring from a biased experiment. I suggest that we get a box of Tootsie Pops for Winter Camp, establish measures for licks and a precise definition for the center of a Tootsie Pop and conduct empirical tests using Winter Campers as a sample population. This would be a logical follow up to the famed Cola Taste Test that Drs. Wilson, Rand and Pepper conducted at a previous Winter Camp. I can buy the Tootsie Pops, as my primary occupation is with a research foundation and funding is available for applied research. Any takers?


Dear Dr. Beast,
Is global warming real, or is it just a tool of the liberal media?
Respectfully
Sitting here snowless

Dear Snowless in South Parks:,
I want to start with the phrase "tool of the liberal media. First I agree that many of the people who make uo the media are tools. Second, why is the media so liberal when its owners are so Republican? On to your real question, Global Warming may be real, but the final analysis is not complete. Scientist who look at the entire earth over very long periods of time "cosmologists" are not unified in their opinion. (at least that's my understanding) My guess on your current snowlessness is that it is caused by El Nino, a masked wrestler from Mexico dominating the WWF and WCW.


Dear Dr. Beast,
Why is time unidirectional?
Respectfully
a One-Way Traveller

Dear One-Way Traveller:,
It is not, you have been missing out on a lot.


Dear Dr. Beast,
Why do fuzz balls collect on my socks?
Respectfully
Frustrated Washer

Dear Loser,:,
Your boots are too tight, your socks too old and your attitude poor. The fuzz balls in question are probably the only balls on you of measurable size, so just be grateful.


Dear Dr. Beast,
Why is there air?
Respectfully
IWANNAKNOW

Dear IWANNAKNOW,:,
Air exist as a medium or conduct for the distribution for flatus. As you know, nobody gags on a wet one in a vacuum.


Dear Dr. Beast,
Why are there always so many flies near equine/bovine animals?
Respectfully
Animal Lover

Dear Animal Lover:,
Much as Detroit has Joe Louis Arena and The Renaissance Center as designated convention centers for humans, farms have larger animals (ovines, bovines,equines) to act as fly convention centers.



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